I hope you and yours are staying well and safe. Rather than writing about what I’ve been keeping busy with during my time at home, or suggesting things that you might do to stave off boredom during these strange days, I thought I would share a short story with you - something to take your mind off the seriousness of what our world is dealing with, if only for a moment. Hope you enjoy this light-hearted reimagining of one of my favorite tales.
Tex and his Stetsons
A Fairy Tale Reimagined
by
Angela Crider Neary
“Ma always did like you best,” the eldest son said to the youngest. Three brothers had gathered in front of a lawyer’s office for the reading of their dear old Ma’s will.
“Yeah,” the middle son said with a snort, arcing a rusty sputter of tobacco from between his lips that splatted on the fiery pavement and sizzled. July in West Texas was sweltering, to put it mildly. “You was always the spoiled little pet. You better hope she didn’t leave the whole kit and caboodle to you, or there’ll be hell to pay.”
“That ain’t true!” the youngest said. Although he knew Ma had loved them all the same, she had coddled him more to shield him from his brothers who would often gang up and bully him. His brothers had never liked him much, maybe because he was more introverted and liked school and reading, whereas they were outgoing, and into sports and other popular pastimes. When he was little, they would stick his head in the toilet while flushing it. As they got older, they would steal his girlfriends, not that he had too many, just for the fun of taking them from him. Ma had kept a watchful eye over him, but it never got much better among the three brothers. Thinking back, however, it seemed like Ma had really loved that darn cat more than anyone else.
After Pa had passed, Ma was the matriarch over their three sons who were always embattled over something, be it whose turn it was to milk the cows or who had to slop the pigs. The two older brothers were lazy, always taking shortcuts with their chores and trying to trick the youngest into doing their work. Ma’s only wish was that they all just get along. Her plan was that if she couldn’t fulfill her wish in life, she would in death, through her will; her sons would have to get along to make the best of things for all three.
The sons all sauntered coolly, as much as the oppressive heat would allow, into the lawyer’s office, not knowing what to expect. The two eldest had already made a pact to contest the will if everything went to the youngest.
“Hello, boys,” the lawyer said, leading them into the conference room. “So sorry for your loss.” The brothers just nodded their heads, eyes darting around, not knowing how to act in unfamiliar territory.
“Let’s get started,” the lawyer said. “Don’t want to waste any more of your inheritance on attorney fees, heh, heh. Now, this shouldn’t take long, since the will is short and to the point. Everything is in proper order, so I’ll just read your mother’s wishes: To my eldest son, I leave the ranch house and the barns and dairy. To my middle son, I leave the livestock and all ranch equipment. Finally, to my youngest son, I leave my beloved cat, Tex.”
The two older brothers hopped up and high-fived. “Yee-haw!” one said, “Ma liked us best after all!”
“Have fun with the cat!” the other said to the youngest who sat in stunned silence. The two eldest left the law office together, eager to celebrate their good fortune with a beer in the nearest saloon. The youngest remained, contemplating his fate.
“Is this some sorta joke?” he asked. “Was Ma in her right mind?”
“Son,” the lawyer said, “life works in mysterious ways. I’m sure your mother had her reasons for what she did. It’s now up to you to make the best of it. Your mother wanted you boys to get along, so I recommend you talk to them and come to some agreement that would benefit you all. It will all work out, I’m sure.”
“Fat chance of that!” the youngest said as he strode out of the office and headed back to the house to claim his inheritance … a cat.
When the youngest arrived at the sprawling ranch house that was no longer his home, his brothers were still out celebrating. No sooner had he settled onto the couch, still overwhelmed, than a bright, yellow-orange tabby with a stark bullseye pattern approached and sat before him.
“Hey, Tex,” he said, absently rubbing the cat’s head. After all, it wasn’t the animal’s fault that Ma had essentially disinherited him.
“Howdy, there, Hoss!” the cat said. “I assume you’re my new master now that Ma’s gone. She told me that’s how it would go down before she passed. I really miss her, but I’m happy to be at your service.”
The youngest almost fell off the couch in shock. I must be losing my mind, he thought and shook his head to clear it.
“Whew, for a second there, I thought I heard you talk English!”
“That’s right, Hoss,” Tex said. “How else could we communicate? I take it you don’t speak Cat.”
“Holy cow! How did you learn to talk? Are you magic?”
“Don’t know about that, Hoss. I’m just a talking cat who helped your Ma through some tough times, and she thought I could do the same for you. Your Ma wanted you and your brothers to run this ranch together. That’s why she left the buildings to one and the livestock and equipment to another, since one can’t run without the other. And me, well, I have a lot to do with this place’s success, so she left me to you.”
“No offense, but how am I supposed to contribute anything to the ranch with you?”
“You leave that to me,” Tex said. “Just get your brothers to agree to work together with what your Ma left y’all. My only request in return is that you give me those spiffy boots you outgrew when you were a kid. They would sure assist me with my chores around the ranch - help keep the hot dirt and prickly pears out of my paw pads.”
“Sure … I guess,” the youngest said, not sure what to think of a talking cat wearing Stetson boots.
When his brothers arrived, they were in high spirits. The youngest thought this would be the best time to approach them about uniting to run the ranch. It didn’t go as well as he had hoped.
“What’re you still doing here,” the middle brother asked. “We figured you woulda cleared outta here by now with your precious cat. And what the heck’s he doing wearing your old cowboy boots?”
“I was hoping we three could come up with a plan to work together to run the ranch,” the youngest said. “That’s what Ma wanted and we each have something essential to the success of this place.”
“Oh, really,” the oldest said. “What do you have that’s so helpful? Looks to me like the two of us are the winners and you’re the odd man out.”
“Well … Tex is a magical cat and had a lot to do with the ranch’s success. He can talk and everything. Show ‘em, Tex,” he said looking at the cat. But Tex just sat there, emptily staring into space, like he was a regular old non-talking cat.
“I guess you’ve finally lost it,” the oldest said, chuckling. “You best pack up your things and be out of here by nightfall.”
The youngest went to his room and packed his few belongings. Tex wobbled into the room, not yet used to walking in his new boots. “That didn’t go so well,” the youngest said. “And thanks for making me look like an idiot!”
“You tried your best, Hoss. Now it’s up to me to fix things. I’m not sure your Ma would like the outcome, but you gave them a chance.”
“There’s nothin’ we can do, Tex. You might as well join me at the inn downtown while I decide what to do with my life, since I’m sure you’re not welcome here anymore, either.”
As the youngest headed toward town, head hung low, Tex high-tailed it to the dairy barn and had a heart-to-heart chat with the cows while chewing some cud. He then loped over to the stables with a full gunny-sack of apples as a gift for his buddies the horses. Finally, he visited the pig sty and shared some chocolate bars and story-tellin’ with the pigs; pigs are suckers for story-tellin’.
The next day, the older brothers tried their hands at running the ranch. It couldn’t be that hard if their Ma had done it all by herself, they thought. But when they visited the dairy farm, the cows refused to be milked, and kicked at them whenever they approached. When they slopped the pigs, the pigs wouldn’t eat enough to be fattened up as usual. When they tried to run the horses, the horses viciously bucked them off. This went on for days, until a month passed and the brothers couldn’t pay the bills to keep the ranch in business.
“What’re we gonna do?” the middle brother asked. “We can’t even pay the bills, much less make a profit. Looks like our younger brother got the best deal, after all, even though all he has is a ridiculous looking cat wearing boots.”
“I got an idea,” the eldest said. He phoned the youngest brother, who was staying at the inn, doing odd jobs around town.
“Hey, bro’,” he said. “We’ve been feeling kinda bad that you got the short end of the stick on the inheritance. We’ve also decided we’re meant for bigger and better things than this ranch. If you’re interested, we have an offer you can’t refuse.”
The eldest hung up and said, “I think I know a way we can dump this place on him and get while the gettin’s good.”
The youngest brother said to Tex, “I just got the strangest phone call from my brother.”
“Do they want to offer you a deal about the ranch?” Tex asked.
“Yeah. How’d you know?”
“A good guess. Let’s head over there and, whatever you do, take the deal.”
The youngest and Tex moseyed over to the ranch house, Tex teetering along in the Stetsons. When they arrived, the older brothers greeted them with open arms.
“What would you say if we offered to sell you the ranch?” the eldest asked.
“That would be great, except there’s no way I can afford it.”
Tex kicked the youngest in the shin with his booted hind paw and interrupted. “I think we can work something out, gentlemen, if you’re willing to be reasonable.”
“Well dadgum! You really can talk!” the middle said.
“Whadaya mean by reasonable?” the eldest asked.
“I happen to know that your youngest brother has $5000 to his name,” said Tex. “If you sign the entire ranch over to him for $4000, leaving him $1000 to live on while he gets this place out of the hole you’ve dropped it in, you gotta deal.”
“That’s highway robbery!” the middle said. “You’re a sly one, ain’t ya, all cocky in your little boots!”
The eldest thought for a minute and said, “We’ll take it. That’ll give us the seed money we need to go out and make our fortunes.” He and Tex shook on it.
Tex had already met with his lawyer friend in town and drawn up the paperwork. Everyone signed, and the two eldest skedaddled before the youngest could figure out what a raw deal he had gotten. They disappeared to parts unknown and were never heard from again. It was rumored that they got eaten by a bear in Alaska while doing hard labor in a fishery.
Meanwhile, under Tex’s tutelage, the youngest turned the ranch into the most profitable it had ever been. Additionally, due to Tex secretly delivering flowers in the youngest’s name to the oil baron’s daughter who lived down the road every day for a month, she agreed to marry the youngest and everyone lived happily ever after. And Tex sure enjoyed those boots.
Angela Crider Neary is an attorney by day and writer by night. She is an avid mystery reader and especially enjoys reading novels set in interesting locales. She was inspired to write her first mystery novella, Li'l Tom and the Pussyfoot Detective Bureau: The Case of the Parrots Desaparecidos, by one of her favorite areas in San Francisco, Telegraph Hill. Her second book, Li'l Tom and the Case of the New Year Dragon is now available. To learn more, visit her on Facebook and Amazon.
