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The Somerset House Conference, artist unknown
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Whether we’re giving a reading to a small club or
attending a huge conference, these occasions can be more arduous than facing a
three-headed cat-dragon if one happens to be an introvert. Stage fright,
claustrophobia, agoraphobia, anxiety, and just plain shyness are all triggered
by events like these. Some people bask in the spotlight; others of us do not.
The Author/
Introvert Connection
Writers are notoriously known to be introverts. It
makes sense. Who else would choose to hole themselves up alone in a room for
hours on end immersed in one’s own thoughts and imaginings? When the other kids
are yelling for us to come out and play, we shut the blinds and pretend we’re
not there. When given a choice between going to a party or staying home, home
wins out every time. When we do go to
the party, we wind up talking to the cat. Sound familiar? That is me, for sure.
Some people think introverts make better writers
because they are more aware of their surroundings, more at home in their heads.
But writing is only half of a writers’ job. The other half is shameless
self-promotion in the form of readings, presentations, author events, and
conferences, all of which require taking our introverted little self out in
public. What could be more alien or abhorrent to a true introvert than talking
in front of the masses? Public speaking scares most people, but for an
introvert, it’s a version of absolute hell.
“Writing is
something you do alone. It’s a profession for introverts who want to tell you a
story but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.” —John Green
Good news!
There are solutions, and no, it’s not imagining the
audience naked. For me, it’s slipping on an alter ego, one that can withstand
the rigors of crowds and confusion; one that is not the least bit bashful or
shy.
Let me introduce you to CatWoman.
CatWoman is part Wonder Woman, part
Audrey Hepburn, part Hillary Clinton, part my mother, and part cat. She is smart,
talkative, friendly, assertive, and sometimes a little bit loud. She is
thick-skinned and cannot be offended or hurt. These are her super-powers.
I first invented the CatWoman template years ago when I was in the antique and
collectible business, so I guess she’s part hawker as well. I needed her
because, on my own, no one would notice me, let alone buy my wares. I used my
high school acting experience to develop
a persona that worked for the situation. Now I carry her into my
writer’s life, not to sell stuff, but to sell myself.
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| Leonid Pasternak, The Throes of Creation |
An introvert
takes on the WRITER’S CONFERENCE, 9 More Tips
The world is a scary place. People may not like me. I
may mess up and forget words. Things may screw up that are out of my control. I
may spill coffee down the front of my dress. But whatever happens, CatWoman can deal with it. I have to believe in her, because otherwise I
would never leave my house. But establishing an alter ego is only one tool in my
toolbox. Here are some others:
2. Find a safe place.
Even the most crowded convention center has somewhere out
of the way where you can be relatively alone. Find it and establish it as your
base camp. When you begin feeling anxious, go there. I always rent a room at a
conference hotel and spend as much time there as necessary. That breather is
often the difference between exhaustion and having a great time.
3. Take naps.
Speaking of exhaustion, cats have the answer. There is nothing like a
nap to revitalize your overwhelmed senses. Like rebooting your computer to refresh
the operating system, a period of rest can do wonders. If you don’t have a room
to retire to, as long as you don’t snore or drool there is nothing wrong with
taking a few nods in an out of the way place.
4. You can’t do it all.
Especially with big conferences, there is often more on the schedule
than any human can manage. Accept the fact you may not be able to attend every
lecture, participate in every workshop, listen to every presenter, plus go out
and party with the group after the sessions are over. Get notes from friends
about things you missed, and congratulate yourself for doing what you could.
5. Establish boundaries.
So you don’t like to sit with the group; you prefer not to eat in
public; you can’t stand people who wear perfume; you don’t drink. Each one of
us is different and has different likes and lifestyles. Doing what works for
you while calmly establishing your boundaries is usually well-received and
accepted.
6. Eat well.
Does the excitement of a conference ruin your appetite? Are you so busy
you forget to eat? Is the event poorly planned with meals ignored in the
schedule? Your wellbeing is up to you and eating regularly is part of that.
Keep something healthy like granola bars, nuts, or yogurt in your bag, and
don’t be afraid of eating in public. Eat when food is offered, whether hungry
or not— you don’t have to eat much. Most importantly, eat healthy when you do
eat.
7. Stay hydrated.
Most conferences have figured out humans need water, and thus provide
it. If not, it’s easy enough to bring your own. Drink it! Dehydration can cause
dizziness, unclear thinking, lack of energy, irritability, and more. And please
remember that twenty-seven cups of coffee doesn’t count as hydration.
8. Don’t penny-pinch.
You just spent big bucks on conference admission, a hotel, and airfare
to get there. Factor in enough funds so you can do whatever you need to do
without worrying about the cost. Yes, sometimes room service is required.
9. You are not alone.
If you are feeling the tightness of the crowd closing in on you, look
around. Chances are you are not the only one. In fact, as I mentioned, many
writers are introverts. Often if you put it out that you aren’t terribly
comfortable in the situation, someone will agree with you, and then you have an
instant ally. Chances are, you can do each other good.
10. Never apologize for being who you are.
It
took me a long time to stop comparing myself to others. You know the ones—
those self-assured, confident people with the winning smiles and a gregarious
manners. But over time and after meeting and talking to those people, I found
out something wonderful! They are just like me. They have hopes and fears,
strengths and weaknesses. They do their best, and so do I. Now I can admit my
shortcomings without apologizing for them. Like Popeye says, “I am who I am...”
I hope some of these tips will help next time you are
faced with a public appearance. However distasteful, we need to get out there.
Our stories are worth it, and so are we.
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| William Blake - Oberon, Titania and Puck with Fairies Dancing |
This article first appeared in the SPAWNews July 2019 Newsletter.
Check out more blogs
by Mollie Hunt, Cat Writer at:
Happy reading!
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