DIALOGUE and other things.
Ruben D. Gonzales

Are your characters getting lost in your dialogue? Is your prose over populated and slowed by tags? In a masters class I took we spent a good deal of time deleting tags from our works in progress. The challenge of course is if you’re not careful your reader may lose track of who is talking and responding. Well written dialogue is a powerful tool for showing conflict. Conflict makes are our characters come alive.

May stood behind the dessert case like a guard outside a jail cell.
    “What can I get you?”
    “I’ll have one of those bear claws.”
    “Is that all?”
    “Well, I’d also like a cinnamon bun.”
    “What else?”
    “I thought I’d get a large de-café too.”
    “Thought or are you sure?”
    “Look, May Watkins, I’m sure.”
    “Are you? Tell me, Emma, are you always so sure?”

The missing tags above are the – “he said/she said”.

Content dialogue demonstrates what a character says that no other character knows or says without the tag: he said - she said. Content dialogue can stand on its own, without adding verbs and adverbs. Good dialogue will show readers who your speakers are and how they feel. Look for the best verb. Stephen King is famous for the quote, “I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs.”

There’s also form in dialogue. Most people speak in short fragment sentences with only an occasional complete sentence thrown in. In conversations between characters there should be a good deal of interrupting going on, especially during an argument. Long “discourses” should be broken up by the opposing characters reaction to the speech. The reaction could be a verbal utterance or a silent gesture. The phrase, “Laura raised her left eye brow at least an inch”, is a beat not a tag.

“Beats” are different than “tags”. Using a beat instead of a tag can serve the same purpose but in a different form.

            Tag: “We’re going to need more than one horse,” Layla said as she grabbed another lead.

            Beat: “We’re going to need more than one horse.” Layla snatched another lead from the tack cabinet.

Shortening your long speeches can make your passages sharper and less oratory. If the topic of a section does drag on for more than a paragraph then interrupt it with a beat. If the content is strong your readers should continue to understand who is speaking.

Review all the tags you used in your work in progress. Evaluate which you can eliminate. If they don’t contribute to “clarity” then delete them. Rewrite dialogue to expose a character’s feelings, (unless they are hiding something). Dialogue should be specific to each character. Even in a crowded room the dialogue in your scene should only be between the two main characters that are responsible for moving the story along.

Something I don’t do enough – read your dialogue aloud and listen for the flow. Is it smooth and are the transitions between characters smooth? Even better – read aloud to someone. See if they can follow the conversation without getting lost. Reading groups and open mic sessions are good for feedback on whether your writing is clear. Don’t be afraid of a constructive critique. Dialogue should follow the norms of everyday speech – the speech of the everyday in your story.

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