According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of ageism is "prejudice or discrimination on the ground's of a person's age." Sadly, ageism is alive and well in our culture. It seems that once a person hits fifty or so, their knowledge and life skills are no longer as valued simply because they are no longer twenty-something, which seems odd to me. Each stage of life comes with its own learning, building on the knowledge and experiences gained in the years preceding. The older members of society are those with the most varied experiences so why not learn from them rather than treat them as somehow less simply because they are ageing? After all, it happens to all of us, if we live long enough.
I will be the first to admit that, at times, I have been more than a little naive. When I first became aware of ageism, it took me by surprise. It was something that had never played a part in my life. My parents were in their late thirties when they had me and I grew up surrounded by older/elderly people. Honestly, it was always easier for me to relate to older people than it was to people my own age and I never thought less of any of them simply because of their age. When I was in middle school I heard a class mate bemoaning how old his grandparents were. I was surprised when I realized that my parents were the age of his grandparents! When I contacted my sons to remind them of my father's 90th birthday my youngest responded with "No one ever believes me when I tell them how old my grandparents are." 😂
As a romance writer, it pains me to say it but ageism is very much alive and well in the world of romance. Most romances feature heroines in their twenties - maybe every now and then, even one in her thirties. But older than that? Please, say it isn't so. *fans away a case of the vapors* Admittedly, I'm just as guilty as any other romance author. To date, only one of my stories, Saved by the Belle, has featured a heroine in her fifties. (And honestly, Dot is one of my favorite heroines so far.) But, I have discovered a Seasoned Romance group dedicated to fighting this trend and helping publishers to see that readers want stories with older characters. After all, those of us on the seasoned side of life can better identify with characters of our own age, facing the same trials and tribulations we have faced. And, after all, love isn't only for the young.
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| Image courtesy of www.depositphotos.com |
So, if you want to join the battle - or just find books with seasoned love stories - join the Seasoned Romance group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/958318970951705/ If you are an author and are a member of Romance Writers of America, there is even a new chapter for writers of seasoned romances.
As for me, I'll be doing my part. I have several stories planned with heroines in their forties, fifties, and even sixties. This is not to say that there won't still be heroines in their twenties because, well, there will. My characters tend to show up fully fledged, they are who they are, age included. My secret desire is to write a post-apocalyptic romance with a fifty-something heroine kicking butt and saving the world. She has survived divorce and menopause so nothing so simple as the end of the world as we know it is going to ruffle her feathers. Maybe someday...
Until next month, Happy Fall Y'all!
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Loved reading this! I was taken aback recently when an agent rejected a book idea because the female leads were too old.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. Many of the author members of the Seasoned Romance FB group have experienced similar problems. However, the readers in the group can't get enough of stories with older heroines/heroes. Once again there is a split between what readers actually want to see and what the publishing community *thinks* they want.
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