What's Going On?

WARNING: This rant, I mean post, contains spoilers for the following movies:  A Quiet Place, The Happening, The Bird Box, and How It Ends

 

If you are interested in any viewing any of those movies but haven’t, continue reading at your own risk.

This month I’m ranting about my newest pet peeve in movies. All movies start with a script/story and as such have a beginning, a middle, and an end. During the course of the story some issue(s) is/are resolved, i.e. the murderer is caught, the heroine gets her happily-ever-after, the dog finds its way home, etc. However, two of the four movies I listed above leave gaping holes in the plot and numerous issues unresolved. So, what’s the point of the movie?

Let’s start with A Quiet Place. Out of all of the movies listed above, it is the only one I liked. I enjoy movies about humanity struggling to survive against all odds and this one told the story well. It opens in a greatly changed world where what’s left of humanity is struggling to survive knowing that any noise can result in an immediate and messy death. What a great concept! The movie centers on a family who is not only trying to survive in this new world but also attempting to raise children, one of whom is deaf, and give them somewhat normal lives. Naturally, their attempts are met with varying levels of success; all stories need some level of conflict/difficulty to keep it interesting. However, during the course of the movie you get hints of what caused the disaster by getting glimpses of obviously non-human creatures haunting the countryside. Then, by the end of the movie, the family has stumbled across a tool that can be used to fight back. Not only does this tool aid them in their time of need, it’s something that can be scaled up and used world-wide. All in all, a creative story told well.

The Happening is similar. Humanity is being destroyed by an unknown foe. To some extent the story was well told and suspenseful. However, when you reach the end and learn that the trees did it (yes, you read that right), it suddenly becomes two hours of your life you will never get back and a preachy lecture on eco/environmentalism. Is there anything inherently wrong about wanting to protect our world and all of the plants, animals, etc. that inhabit it? Absolutely not. I am extremely eco-concious but this was way too over the top for me. The trees did it? Seriously?

Image courtesy of www.depositphotos.com

 

Next up, The Bird Box. Sigh. After all of the hype around this movie, I expected much, much better. I was greatly disappointed. The Bird Box is basically A Quiet Place with the addition of blindfolds and gaping plot holes. Never are you told what caused the phenomena causing people to commit suicide. Is it aliens? You never see one. The only shadowy shape glimpsed against a covered window is quite humanoid. Are the trees rebelling again? Maybe. The only indication that the villains are about to strike is a sudden gust of wind. And the ending? Somewhat touching but incomplete. The group of travelers reaches safety. The End. Wait. What? Yes. They are safe but only temporarily. It’s only a matter of time before their safe haven is discovered by the humans under the thrall of the unknown aliens/trees. Do the folks running the safe haven have enough blindfolds to go around? A bunker for everyone to shelter in? Weapons and ammo to fight off the bad guys? (Based on the safe haven, the answer to all of those questions is a resounding NO!) And who is working on a way to fight back and end the conflict? Apparently no one. An unsatisfying movie all around in my opinion. And don’t even get me started on the so-called Bird Box Challenge. *uses mom voice* Don’t be stupid. Just don’t.

How It Ends. I have seen zero hype for this movie, and after watching it, I understand why. I sort of stumbled across it on Netflix and thought it sounded interesting (and it had five stars) so I watched. What a mistake. When the move opens we learn that our hero, whom I shall call Mr. Metrosexual (or MM for short), and his girlfriend are expecting. Now they have to break the news to her parents. MM does not care for his soon to be father-in-law; the two have nothing in common. (Welcome to reality movie dude.) Almost father-in-law is former military, loves his country, and has no problem with owning guns; Mr. Metrosexual with his custom suits, shiny shoes, and fancy car, can’t get behind any of that. As luck would have it, Mr. Metrosexual is grudgingly visiting his girlfriend’s family on the east coast when the never explained disaster strikes, knocking out the power grid, all but sporadic communications, and stranding the pregnant girlfriend on the west coast. MM and almost father-in-law grudgingly agree to work together to drive across country to rescue the girlfriend. Mr. Metrosexual is horrified that not only is his almost father-in-law packing heat but he expects him to do so as well. Oh the humanity! It only takes one looting and near car-jacking to get Mr. Metrosexual to rethink his stance on guns. Once again, there is zero information given as to what is actually causing the earthquakes, storms, et cetera. Is the world under attack by aliens? Has the planet had enough abuse and decided to rid itself of the annoying parasites living on its surface? Who knows? Certainly not the viewers. Even worse is that over the course of the three or so days covered by the movie, Mr. Metrosexual goes from almost fainting at the sight of a gun to taking out bad guys with perfect head shots – from a moving vehicle. Oh, give me a break. *gags* So, of course, when our hero reaches the west coast, the city his girlfriend is in is nothing but rubble. She, of course, has survived with the help of a somewhat mentally unbalanced neighbor. When the movie ends, the couple is in a car, speeding down a highway as yet another earthquake destroys the road behind them. How does this resolve anything? It doesn’t. What. Is. Going. On? Are they just going to keep driving forever hoping to outrun whatever comes their way? Good luck with that. I’m pretty sure neither of them knows how to siphon fuel and—gasp—there are no functioning gas stations. For a movie named How It Ends it tells you absolutely nothing about how it ends.

 

Thanks for listening to me vent. I feel better now, LOL. What are your pet peeves in movies or books?

 

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