Life with a Writer

Writers are just like everybody else. Well, sort of. We are easily distracted by the plot bunnies constantly hopping around our minds. We may shout “Yes!” at inappropriate times when that last pesky plot point finally falls into place. Our internet search histories may land us on one or more watch lists. (Poisons, anyone?)

However, as my husband has learned the hard way, we are also… different. I offer into evidence bits and pieces of conversations regarding my various stories.

Exhibit A:

Him: “So, what’s happening in your story?”

Me: “Nef is about to tell me about the political situation in Ramalda.”

Him: “What is the political situation in Ramalda?”

Me (sincerely): “I don’t know! He hasn’t told me yet.” (There may or may not have been an implied “Duh!” in my tone.)

At this point, my hubby gave me The Look which I have come to think of as his I’m-married-to-a-crazy-woman look and slowly backed out of the room.

Exhibit B:

Him: “How’s the new story going?”

Me: “Fine. Except, I really hate my main character’s best friend.”

Him: “What do you mean you don’t like her? You created her!”

Me: “Yes, I created her. But, that doesn’t mean I like her.”

Him: Somehow manages to give me The Look while simultaneously driving.

Note: Once I got to know my main character’s best friend better, and learned why she was the way she was, I grew to like her. As a matter of fact, she gets her own book!

Exhibit C:

Him: “How did the writing go tonight?”

Me: “Fine. I found out that my heroine wanted to be a missionary when she was younger.”

Him: Looks at me for a minute. “You didn’t know that before tonight, did you?”

Me: “No.”

At this point, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride in my hubby – he’s learning!

Exhibit D:

It’s not just our spouses and significant others that get sucked into our make believe worlds though. We are not above using friends, relatives, and possibly complete strangers for information if needed. So far, my youngest son has been the recipient of one of my more random text messages: “How long would it take someone to bleed out with one carotid artery severed?”

What can I say? My son is a black belt ninja (really) and is majoring in exercise physiology with plans to become a chiropractor. I figured his rather unique skill set would allow him to help his mom out in a pinch. I wasn’t there to see what I’m sure was a world-class eye roll when he read my message but he did call me to discuss my question and gave me the information that I needed to help me finish the climax of my novel.

So, the next time you encounter someone at the book store or coffee shop, huddled over their laptop while mumbling to themselves and eating chocolate in massive quantities, don’t worry. You have just stumbled across a writer in its natural habitat.

However, there is one rule to always keep in mind when dealing with a writer:

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The Mystery of Mysteries, by Mollie Hunt

 

The mere word brings vivid images of swirling fog and shadowy undercurrent, corpses floating to the surface of a murky river, gunshots in the night. As both a mystery reader and writer, the genre flares my imagination. Where is the body? What will happen next? Whodunit?

But the mystery genre abounds with sub-genres: the thriller, the cozy, the suspense, the romance, and the noir, just to name a few. Last weekend I joined a panel of 10 mystery writers to discuss the topic of our villains. I learned more than I ever expected.

 

Question no. 1: Who comes to your story first, your hero or your villain? Most agreed it was the hero, especially those who write a series. Coming up with new trouble for a recurrent hero is the objective of an evolving storyline. Some books, however, are built on the actions of the villain; then he (or she) becomes inexorably entwined with the hero and you have a chicken and egg situation. Once in a while, the villain is such a strong character that the hero is almost incidental.

 

What about gender? Could a writer switch sexes and have the results remain the same? Yes and no. Stereotypes abound, but for a reason: statistically men shoot guns while women poison. Only crazies and historical figures wield knives and blades.

 

How does location influence a villain’s attributes? Or does it? To some, location is everything – this was my take, since the villain in my mystery Placid River Runs Deep has only left his tiny rural Washington hometown to do a stint in prison for murder; naturally when he is ready to kill again, he returns to his roots. Other writers, however, said their villain(s) could kill anywhere. The socio/psychopath who takes lives for reasons known only to themselves may know no boundaries.

 

Speaking of boundaries, what challenges or boundaries do the different mystery genres generate? The writers of cozies need to offer an engaging mystery without the use of disturbing sex or violence (and no harsh language, please!). The noir, characterized by cynicism, fatalism, and moral ambiguity, is bound by those terms. The thriller knows no such constraint, and often grislier is better.

Are there crimes your villain couldn’t or shouldn’t commit? All 10 writers across all genres agreed on this one: Never kill the cat or dog.

Check out more blogs by Mollie Hunt at:

Mollie Hunt: Crazy Cat Lady Mysteries and more

Happy reading!

 

Kids, Garbage & Dogs

Years ago when I was busy raising my six children (and tearing my hair out most days), I had a friend whose favorite saying was, "Kids, garbage and dogs." It was her belief that the greatest source of trouble between neighbors was--you guessed it--kids, garbage or dogs. 

Or, all of the above.

Especially in the days of 33 gallon garbage cans, if a neighbor left the lid loose, or over-filled it so the lid would not fit, or it got tipped over by the local dogs in search of the tasty garbage treat they could smell inside, one could find trash strewn all over the front lawn and down the block. If you think the garbage truck driver was going to pick it up, guess again. If the can was tipped over, he might not even take what was left in the can. And, if you think that the neighbor whose dog tipped over your can was going to pick up the garbage strewn across THEIR yard, think again.

Then there are dogs that bark and howl all day and especially all night. Or, the neighbors let them out early in the morning so they can poop on YOUR lawn for YOU to clean up instead of keeping the mess in their own yard.

As for kids, it would take volumes to discuss the kind of trouble they can cause between neighbors. As the mother of six children, trust me on that.


On the other hand, when it comes to writing, kids and dogs, especially, can provide important elements to your story. There is a reason they turn up in supporting roles to the main characters in so many books and movies.

Dogs are loyal.

Dogs are loving.

Dogs can warn of danger.

Dogs are protective.


Dogs are playful.

Dogs can get their masters or mistresses into all kinds of trouble as well as out of it.

Then there is the cuteness factor.

If you want to add that emotional element that can only be filled by a non-human, consider adding a dog as one of your characters.

Another cuteness factor is children. Children are small, vocal beings with minds of their own. They usually don't think in the same terms as adults, which is what makes their voices so refreshing.

And honest.

Or humorous.

Or profound.

Or entertaining. 

Don't want your adult characters to start taking themselves too seriously? Add a kid as a supporting character. The child will keep the adults on their toes and add that emotionally satisfying element that only non-adult characters can provide.

In all fairness, although cats are not part of the saying, it may not hurt to throw one or more into the mix every now and then. 

Cats have different personalities and traits than dogs. 

Cats are independent.

Cats are territorial, but they don't recognize the same boundaries that humans do. (I hate it when the neighbor's cat comes into MY yard and picks a fight with MY cat...)

People don't own cats; cats choose their owners.

Case in point, several years ago I rescued a half-starved, half-grown kitten who had been abandoned by a neighbor who moved out in the middle of the night. It showed up on our front porch and I fed it. Within hours, it was in the house. I foolishly declared that now I have a cat; Archie was mine.

Archie had other plans. He gravitated to my husband, the cat whisperer, just like all the other kitties in the house have.

Another household that lists itself as being headed by a cat.

There is a reason why I chose this cartoon for a humorous break in my genealogy PowerPoint presentation on how census records lead to other records. Those who do not have cats may not get it. Those of us who do understand this cartoon perfectly.

As for the garbage, there is already enough of that out there in the writing world. We don't need any more of it. Like in real life, keep the writing garbage in the can--with the lid on tight.

      ****


Zina Abbott is the pen name used by Robyn Echols for her historical novels. Her novel, Family Secrets, was published by Fire Star Press. 

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