tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2091700778275524261.post7122370707336223165..comments2024-03-27T11:59:55.019-05:00Comments on Fire Star Press: Writing About GriefLivia J Washburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05958199886826207363noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2091700778275524261.post-89254119071377357212016-04-21T15:30:53.973-05:002016-04-21T15:30:53.973-05:00Having lost my adult son to misdiagnosed cancer (i...Having lost my adult son to misdiagnosed cancer (in spite of the early warning signs), my husband after "successful" surgery for cancer, and my Mother from anaphylactic shock during a flight home from Hawaii, I've experienced the full cadre of grief. The "if only"s drive you to the edge of madness. The anger never really leaves you; but it makes you a fighter. My son was a "lab rat" for a university study (found out after the fact); my husband's oncologist was a total ass who ignored what the family requested (we didn't want him told they had taken his stomach until he had actually eaten a meal); and my Mother died because the airline's first aid kit was was the same standard issue from the 1920's. (A twenty dollar epipen would have saved her, but was considered "cost prohibitive.) As a family, we used our rage to get full disclosure from "teaching" hospitals (funded by the drug companies), patient/family advocates, and a mandate re: the first aid kits on over water flights. (That said, if you have allergies, inform the airlines prior to ANY flight.) The fight continued for me when I was a haz mat specialist, and pushed for stronger OSHA regulations for workers. So writing about grief...the different emotions people display...has become a catharsis. People need to realize not everyone experiences the same feelings; and not everyone can know the release tears can bring. Sometimes, it hurts too much to cry. And sometimes something as simple as a quiet hug can do wonders. In the meantime, the characters I write who are experiencing loss seem to take on a life of their own. They may seek revenge; they may seek redemption, and sometimes they find love and understanding where they least expect it.Kit Pratehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17173204190307056869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2091700778275524261.post-64951142014400982762016-04-15T14:14:56.877-05:002016-04-15T14:14:56.877-05:00The other thing is people may skip around for how ...The other thing is people may skip around for how they go through suffering. Some of my friends, who lost their husband years back, are still going through these feelings. I think you can repeatedly go through feeling guilty for surviving, bitter at the unfairness, denial that it happened and acceptance only to go through it again. To get to accepting the loss doesn't mean you won't go back through it. What I find interesting is in observing people who went through a great loss, which can be divorce also, some seem able to move on and others really cannot. I have often wondered what the reason was. It's not like one is right and the other wrong. It is what it is.Rain Trueaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07994628226501093880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2091700778275524261.post-2391347266674368962016-04-15T13:43:36.336-05:002016-04-15T13:43:36.336-05:00Excellent post, Zina. It may take months for some ...Excellent post, Zina. It may take months for some people to allow their grief to surface. Others, if their loved one had a terminal illness, they're grieved for months before the passing. Shame on people for being judgmental.Linda LaRoquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16672522522233696282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2091700778275524261.post-11377127390799171512016-04-15T13:19:46.834-05:002016-04-15T13:19:46.834-05:00I probably should clarify on the circumstances sur...I probably should clarify on the circumstances surrounding my grandfather's death, my grandmother was in her thirties when he died and my grandfather was ten years older than she was. Occupational disease does take several years to develop in most individuals, and my grandfather in his mid-forties was exposed long enough to have his lungs weakened and his life cut short.Zina Abbott Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06514497895329220725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2091700778275524261.post-71935844594048663152016-04-15T13:17:17.242-05:002016-04-15T13:17:17.242-05:00Thank you for your response, Connie. Sometimes we ...Thank you for your response, Connie. Sometimes we want to rush the grief process with our characters, but it can be a great element in the movement of the story.Zina Abbott Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06514497895329220725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2091700778275524261.post-66912492258217518992016-04-15T12:18:09.974-05:002016-04-15T12:18:09.974-05:00A timely post Robyn. My character's father jus...A timely post Robyn. My character's father just passed. I'll keep these stages in mind. Thanks!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06378090146801861924noreply@blogger.com