Thursday, December 19, 2019

The Book Tour Episode Eleven: A Love Story (of sorts)


The Book Tour

Episode Eleven: A Love Story (of sorts)

            
 On the eventless road to Boise and my next book talk, a greasy-haired man runs the show. He’s seated up at the front, and the bus isn’t crowded, so we all get to hear his story… many times. Annoyingly loquacious, he tells it over and over. Even those just getting on the bus along the way, are treated to a new version, for as we travel on, he adds detail. Finally, whether we want to or not, we’ve all been sucked in. Even the bus driver is chuckling away at each retelling.
           
 His wife met “one of these guys” on an Internet chat, claims she’s fallen in love. What happens next? The guy shows up at the house with a bow-kay of flowers. So what do I do? I chucked her out, that’s what I do. After eighteen years of marriage. A bow-kay of flowers, just think of that. Flowers, he shows up with, and she tells me it’s true love this time.”

  Well, perhaps that man with the flowers looked a sight better than him. Under his grubby baseball cap, his mane is long, oily and dirty grey. His fatty belly is loose and drooping although he’s a lanky man, and aside from one cluster of teeth on the left side of his mouth, there’s nothing else to chew with.

   “Eighteen years of marriage and she has to go for someone on the Internet, just think of that. Chucked her out, I did. And then, you know what I did. I went and throwed my wedding ring right across the highway. Throwed that ring all the way across.” He shakes his head dramatically. “Friend of mine, he says come up to the country. Do some hunting and fishing, but I done something better. Something much better.”

  He pauses for dramatic effect, and we’re all on tenterhooks, leaning forward in our seats, waiting for the next sentence. It’s not as if he’s such a great storyteller — or perhaps he is, in an idiotic, loser way that’s certainly got us all hooked. That’s talent, isn’t it?

 “What I done was, met a woman on a telephone chat line. Fell in love on the telephone. Service only cost me $5.95. Talked about everything, too, her and me. We’re gonna do plenty of things together. Gonna buy a trailer, a cow, chickens. Have animals, travel. That’s what we both want. Travel all over.”

  Rather like a traveling circus, I think, but his next sentences pulls me up short: “That’s where I’m going now. On the way to meet her for the first time. We’ll start from here. Got everything I need in my bags. Not going back home no more, no way. She’s coming to meet the bus, too. Be inneresting. She don’t no idea what I look like. Never seen a picture of her neither. Things like that don’t matter. What we talk about on the phone, that’s what counts.”

 At least he could have washed his hair for this momentous encounter, I think. But it’s funny: by now, he has every single person on the bus rooting for him, full of good wishes and camaraderie. We all want him to win this round, although a positive outcome seems highly unlikely. What will really happen in a few hours? This trip through the sunny afternoon’s bland landscape seems quite endless, and we’re as impatient as he is to arrive at his destination.

 And then, finally, we’re there, at a little nowhere stop an hour or so outside of Boise. There doesn’t seem to be a station of any kind, just parked cars, trucks, scruffy scrub. Our man stands, peers out the window as the bus slows. He shrugs himself into his dirty leather jacket, slings his canvass hold-all over his shoulder.
           
 “There she is. That’s her all right. I know it is.”   

  
How? How does he know? There are a few stragglers out there, and standing still, watching the bus with what could only be described as fascinated intensity, is a large, blond woman in boots and a fringed jacket. She’s dolled herself up properly for the occasion, full makeup, beauty parlor hair. My heart sinks. What chance does this guy have? None. Standing beside her is a tall young man, probably her son: clever of her not to go this alone.

All of us on the bus have our noses pressed against the windows now; you could hear a flea jump. We’re all holding our breath, waiting…

He gets out of the bus, saunters toward her, a stoop-shouldered, sloppy man. She’s staring at him, her face expressionless. Taking in the bad hair, the shabby scruffiness, the hangdog expression. He stops when he’s right in front of her. Do they say anything? We can’t tell. They just stare at each other.

    Then, slowly, almost with resignation but also with a very amused smile, the woman raises her arms, slings them around his neck and gives him a most satisfying hug.

    We all start breathing again. Some of us are laughing with pure satisfaction. And the driver starts the bus, pulls out towards the highway and heads for the city.

More about my books and passionate life can be found at http://www.j-arleneculiner.com and http://www:jill-culiner.com and on my podcast at https://soundcloud.com/j-arlene-culiner

Sunday, December 15, 2019

LOOKING BACK-LOOKING FORWARD


I don't have a tree this year. I could blame family tragedies or the recent three minor surgeries that have got me nearly flat on my back. I could blame politics or climate change. I could blame my husband, after all, don't they often get left with the blame, whether guilty or not?

Or I could accept that this year, I will have no tree.

Actually, aside from the fact that the price of a Christmas tree has crept far beyond my budget, I'm also having trouble with the "disposable" mentality that goes with it. I mean, once a year, millions of people suddenly require the killing of trees that may not be ready to die. Then a month later, they are tossed away, forgotten. Some people recycle, and those lucky trees get to become toilet paper or paper towels. Maybe they are made into book pages. That would be nice. But fact is, there are lots of other recyclables that can be used for the purpose. The life of books does not depend on the death of Christmas trees.

I have a collection of vintage and antique ornaments, many in the shape of cats. I miss putting these on the tree, slipping them over the cool, spiky branches, then watching them shine in the colored lights for a week or two. But I put a photo on my wallpaper from back when I had a tree and am enjoying it just fine.




One thing I did participate in this year is the sending of Christmas cards. This small, non-electronic connection with friends and family gives me a great amount of pleasure. I love to see what people send back. (Those who still keep up the tradition.) As you can imagine, I receive a lot of cat-themed cards.

I like to look for interesting vintage cards on Pinterest. This year, I was especially enthralled by the 1950's black cat. Here are a few I found.




I also discovered a new artist who creates paintings in the style of that period, but with some added quirks of her own. Her name is El Gato Gomez, and she led me on a tortuous trail through social media as I tried to find out more about her. I failed. I don't even know where she's from. A Google search led me to old sites and error sites and multiple presence on Facebook. Still, I have to show you a few of her pieces.





So for all you with trees, please enjoy their loving ambiance for me. Possibly 2020 will be the year for me to put up a tree.

Happy Holidays!




Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Holiday Traditions

I celebrate Christmas, so the day after Thanksgiving, I switch the radio over to the holiday station and begin the ritual of getting into the holiday spirit.  I break out the holiday albums and play Pandora on the Los Straightjackets (Holiday) Radio or the Christmas Jazz Radio channel for most of the month of December. 

Besides music, movies are another tradition I like to observe while I fill out my greeting cards adorned with photos of myself, my husband, and my cat (of course!). My favorites are Elf and Bad Santa, but I started this year with The Grinch (2018) and The Santa Chronicles - not near as good as Elf and Bad Santa, but I still have time for those. 
And what would the holidays be without flavorful drinks and treats?  I like to imbibe a Peppermint Martini (2.5 oz. vanilla vodka; 1 oz. peppermint schnapps) or a champagne cocktail (1.5 oz. amaretto; 4 oz. champagne) while making pralines, sausage cheese balls, sugar cookies, or just eating Trader Joe’s Mini Gingerbread Men or Dark Chocolate Mint Stars right out of the box. Cocktails and music also match well with tree trimming. 




Festive activities keep things merry. I always keep my eyes open for fun events and activities to celebrate this time of year.

When I used to travel to Houston for Christmas, my husband and I developed the ritual of having lunch and a brewery tour at Saint Arnold on Christmas Eve. 
One year, I even got to meet Santa!


While in Austin, the Zilker tree of lights is a must-see. 



In Sonoma, we enjoy the Lighting of the Plaza,







the Cornerstone Lighting of the Snowmen,



and driving around town to view all the festive decorations. 



If we get the opportunity, a day or weekend in San Francisco to see the bright lights of the city is in order.







And I’ve saved the best delight for last - holiday reading!  Many authors provide a seasonal novella, short story, or book in their series for Yuletide enjoyment. What are your favorite holiday reads?  If you’re an author, do you have any titles you would like to share?  Let me know in the comments, along with your favorite end-of-year rituals and traditions!





Angela Crider Neary is an attorney by day and writer by night. She is an avid mystery reader and especially enjoys reading novels set in interesting locales. She was inspired to write her first mystery novella, Li'l Tom and the Pussyfoot Detective Bureau: The Case of the Parrots Desaparecidos, by one of her favorite areas in San Francisco, Telegraph Hill.  Her second book, Li'l Tom and the Case of the New Year Dragon is now available.  To learn more, visit her on Facebook and Amazon.







Friday, December 6, 2019

Updates on NaNoWriMo and The Comic Sans Experiment


Happy December, y'all!

Last month I told you about The Comic Sans Experiment I planned to implement during the month of November. (If you missed the post you can read it HERE.) As promised, this is an update on what happened.

I participated in National Novel Writing Month and finished with a win, crossing the 50,000 word goal on November 29th. Did using the Comic Sans font make the process any easier? Honestly, I think it did. Now, do I think there is anything magical about the Comic Sans font? Of course not. As I surmised last month, I think the effect is purely psychological in that the change from using the staid, formal Times New Roman font to something more carefree allows us to drop the expectations that go along with the formality and just create. In my opinion, probably any other less formal, less Times New Roman font would work as well.

Another thing that I think helped me was that I upgraded my laptop mid-month. I know, what kind of idiot upgrades their laptop when they are in the middle of trying to reach an insane goal during an already hectic month? This one, apparently. I had been considering updating my laptop for some time but stumbled across a great deal on what is technically a gaming laptop. Even though I won't use it for gaming, it has much better specs than a lot of similar, more expensive laptops. Since it is a gaming laptop it also has an awesome backlit, color-changing keyboard. I love my new keyboard. I like color but, colorful laptops can be hard to find. (Why do laptop manufacturers think everyone wants matte black? How boring.) So, a colorful keyboard was the perfect compromise. However, I was worried that I would be so engrossed in watching the color change that I would fail to focus on my writing. Fortunately, that fear was unfounded. (Whew!) It helps that my new laptop keyboard has an excellent "feel." When PCs first became a thing (yes, I'm old enough to remember that) most keyboards were difficult for me to use because they required a firm touch and I have a very light one. Over the years, I learned to use more force when typing but it doesn't come naturally. My new keyboard is wonderful though. The feel of the keys is quite pleasant and makes typing a dream so, a poorly timed upgrade which could have turned into a disaster actually turned out to be another win.

Here's to a long and productive relationship with my new laptop/keyboard. *raises diet soda in toast*

Until next time, I wish you all a wonderful holiday season and I'll see you again in 2020.


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Monday, December 2, 2019

December again. By Michael E. Gonzales


It’s December yet again. In my family the Christmas season begins the day after Thanksgiving, and this year is no exception.

The leftover turkey in the fridge wasn’t even chilled when the next morn my bride started boxing up the Thanksgiving decorations that had festooned the house for the past month and started the process of transforming our home into North Pole City. The tree went up on the 1st and was fully decorated an hour later.

This may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but in our garage it’s an archeological excavation to unearth my wife’s well-organized storage tubs.

Now, don’t misunderstand, I absolutely LOVE what my wife does to our house during Christmas! She gives our home the Holiday ambiance that makes this season truly festive for the entire family. (Yes, this is our hearth)


During Thanksgiving we sort of lose the meaning of the day in the pressure and angst that we bring down upon ourselves. But, in our family, the month of December provides us with that perspective, and we better appreciate the Lord’s many blessings poured down upon us.


Even thirty years later I am still so very thankful that I’m not spending Christmas in the turret of a tank with three other men who, like me, haven’t seen a real bath in weeks!  I’m warm, dry, there's really good food in the house, I’m surrounded by people who love me, and at night I slide in between clean, warm sheets on a comfortable mattress.

Most people can’t appreciate that sensation, particularly if you've not slept inside a tank turret or in a cold muddy hole in the ground as it rains or snows.  Think about that tonight as you lay your head on that nice soft pillow.


But I digress…

Christmas is, for my family, the best time of the year. We gather with friends and colleagues for parties, we exchange small gifts, thank one another for the gifts lavished on us all year, and culminate by remembering that Christ is the reason for the season.

So, from my family to yours a very MERRY CHRISTMAS.



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