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Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Life with a Writer

Writers are just like everybody else. Well, sort of. We are easily distracted by the plot bunnies constantly hopping around our minds. We may shout “Yes!” at inappropriate times when that last pesky plot point finally falls into place. Our internet search histories may land us on one or more watch lists. (Poisons, anyone?)

However, as my husband has learned the hard way, we are also… different. I offer into evidence bits and pieces of conversations regarding my various stories.

Exhibit A:

Him: “So, what’s happening in your story?”
Me: “Nef is about to tell me about the political situation in Ramalda.”
Him: “What is the political situation in Ramalda?”
Me (sincerely): “I don’t know! He hasn’t told me yet.” (There may or may not have been an implied “Duh!” in my tone.)
At this point, my hubby gave me The Look which I have come to think of as his I’m-married-to-a-crazy-woman look and slowly backed out of the room.

Exhibit B:

Him: “How’s the new story going?”
Me: “Fine. Except, I really hate my main character’s best friend.”
Him: “What do you mean you don’t like her? You created her!”
Me: “Yes, I created her. But, that doesn’t mean I like her.”
Him: Somehow manages to give me The Look while simultaneously driving.

Note: Once I got to know my main character’s best friend better, and learned why she was the way she was, I grew to like her. As a matter of fact, she gets her own book!

Exhibit C:

Him: “How did the writing go tonight?”
Me: “Fine. I found out that my heroine wanted to be a missionary when she was younger.”
Him: Looks at me for a minute. “You didn’t know that before tonight, did you?”
Me: “No.”

At this point, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride in my hubby – he’s learning!

Exhibit D:

It’s not just our spouses and significant others that get sucked into our make believe worlds though. We are not above using friends, relatives, and possibly complete strangers for information if needed. So far, my youngest son has been the recipient of one of my more random text messages: “How long would it take someone to bleed out with one carotid artery severed?”

What can I say? My son is a black belt ninja (really) and is majoring in exercise physiology with plans to become a chiropractor. I figured his rather unique skill set would allow him to help his mom out in a pinch. I wasn’t there to see what I’m sure was a world-class eye roll when he read my message but he did call me to discuss my question and gave me the information that I needed to help me finish the climax of my novel.

So, the next time you encounter someone at the book store or coffee shop, huddled over their laptop while mumbling to themselves and eating chocolate in massive quantities, don’t worry. You have just stumbled across a writer in its natural habitat.

However, there is one rule to always keep in mind when dealing with a writer:

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